Fear causes you to feel small and powerless. Fear is the most insidious and suffocating emotion. How many great and beautiful people have withered and vanished — whose gifts the world never knew — because of fear's dread? Fear is paralyzing to life. When we are afraid of failure, judgment, loneliness or rejection, we try to play-it-safe to avoid fear's pain and uncertainty. When we are afraid, we advance cautiously and try to keep things the same and "safe." However, no matter how hard we try to keep things the same, change is inevitable. Even non-change is imperceivable change, because inaction will slowly change you from what you could have been, to what you never will be. It can be so hard to face our fears. It is a pathetic agony, so desperately wanting to liberate our dreams and live fully and completely in alignment with our hopes. It feels like crawling when we want to stand and leap. Yet, with all the passion, hope, faith and determination we can muster, we still feel the foreboding unease that our dreams, if attempted — could become a nightmare. This is how we are stunted by fear. Fear is a thief because fear robs you before you even begin.
Do you want to prosper? What do you give the world? Do you want to flourish in the garden of life? Life's gardeners pluck the weeds and care only for the productive plants. The quality of your life hinges on your attitudes and offerings. Become a gift in the lives of others, and you will always be well received. If you want more opportunities you have to become an opportunity for others. As you advance yourself your opportunities advance too. It's so simple. Get to work on yourself. The harder you work on yourself the more the external things you couldn't change will change on their own. Cultivating your value proposition in life is the way to move forward. You are the raw material of your own destiny. Start creating, start giving back — start caring! What will you share?
You better have some skills in this world. You better bring something to the dinner party, or you will be the dinner. You will either have value or be grist for the mill — nothing more. I know it seems so unfair. I didn't make the rules. The truth is that the world doesn't have much use or respect for "do nothing" people. Can you really blame them? Take some pride in yourself. Get to work. Read everything you can get your hands on. Acquire several skills and find at least one that you can master, and that earns you respect. Let your skills do the talking. Get determined. This world is bursting with opportunity. Maybe it's time you reinvent yourself and try again. Get going. Don't cheat the world or yourself of what you have to offer. You must cultivate value within yourself if you want to move forward. If you feel trapped, quit thinking about the trap and start thinking about your value. Life favors value. Value is your way out.
Your life is not supposed to be filled with unnecessary drama and pain, and if it is, then something is not right. While bad things do happen to good people, many common problems are frequently created by our own behaviours and thinking. You may not have started every problem, but you sure as hell have been keeping them going. Your burdens are perfectly measured and gifted to you according to your resistance. As long as you keep resisting, expect the pummeling to continue. Life is trying to get something through your thick head. Much of the torment of our lives is our own creation. Your every ill-thought, secreted hate, cynical and vicious judgment you carry is meant only for you. If you are prone to drama, you put your ugliness on others because you secretly want to see it and feel the pain it reflects back, so you can grow. You are the source of your pain, and you are the source of your healing. Even when someone hurts you, you choose how to struggle, resist, deny and receive. Maybe you receive pain selfishly — thinking only of yourself. The cycle of pain wounds every participant; both victim and aggressor. Most of your problems exist because your heart is hard, and you are being arrogant. It doesn't have to be so hard! You can change it. When you start acting more mindfully and positive, your life will come together in positive ways. But, no one can make it better for you; it's up to you. Take a beating of misfortune for the rest of your life, or expand in love and live with grace and ease. The life you want doesn't want you — until you are worthy. Only you can decide your worthiness. The nightmare can end the moment you humble yourself and begin practicing being virtuous and taking proper care of yourself.
The real ladder of opportunity is ascending levels of consciousness. As your consciousness, refinement and pureness of heart expand you will become less judgmental, less corrective, less reactive, less black-and-white, less critical, less apt to blame and less tormented by others and their faults and views. As the aperture of your heart opens to love you will receive more of the light of compassion, acceptance, gentleness, grace and understanding. The more evolved you are the less you will agree or disagree with others, and the more you will gently sift through the fullness of what people are offering and gratefully take only what you need. The more spiritually aware you become, the more you will focus on your own development and less on the imperfections of others. As an evolved being, you will begin to see pettiness, quarreling and correcting others as non-constructive and crude. As you evolve, you will learn that the only person you need to correct is yourself. We teach best by how we live life; who we are instructs with absolute clarity.
In simple external terms, this is how it works. When you carry a frown you will see more frowns; when you carry a smile you will see more smiles. When you are hardworking and educated you attract hardworking, educated friends and you repel ignorant deadbeats. When you love yourself you attract those who love themselves, and you repel co-dependence because of your healthy boundaries. When you are a wholesome person, more wholesome people will appear in your life. Who you are is shaping your so-called reality. When you change — the world changes with you. This is what "be the change" means. This is what the "law of attraction" is all about. This is the basis of personal responsibility. You will always receive what you are equal to and what your perceptions, judgments and positions insist.
We aren't always dealt the best hand in life, and some things are out of our control, but not everything, and there are easy ways to turn around some of your common recurring problems and challenges. We have all heard terms like "you reap what you sow" and "the law of attraction," both of which suggest having personal responsibility can help us. You may not even realize it, but who you are, how you act and present yourself to others, and your deep inner-truths are either calling fortune or misfortune into your life right now. You cannot hide from yourself. Your unresolved issues will continue to call-in experiences to teach you what you need to learn. If your life is a persistently a disaster, it is absolutely because you are a disaster. There is no way around it. Your problems are not because bad things happened to you; bad things happen to everyone. Your persistent problems are because of your response to common misfortune. If you want your life to be different you have to start reacting to life differently. The question you must ask yourself is, what is it about you that causes you to choose situations and people who expose you to risk, sadness and hurt? Why do you do it to yourself? You choose these things because that's who you are. Like attracts like. Dysfunction relates to dysfunction. You know, "birds of a feather" — you've heard it all before. But really, it is about your deepest core identity, your self-esteem, your soul-signature, and your level of spiritual and intellectual development. If you want more, then be more. If you want better, then be better.
Stop blaming and start being. Everything comes by being! Be the love you seek. Be the friend you seek. Be the lover you seek. Be the honesty you seek. Be the integrity you seek. Be the patience you seek. Be the tolerance you seek. Be the compassion you seek.
Ultimately, everything is completely up to you. Quit looking for the answers outside of yourself. The invitation to something better is not arriving from any source outside of yourself — ever. Those who get the invitation are the ones who realize that the invitation only comes from deep within. Give yourself permission to be free from the past. You are the authority and the gatekeeper of your own life. Once you become something, only then, are you worthy of it. The life you want is a manifestation of self-realization. It is easy; just be — to receive. Manifesting is primarily about identity, and secondarily about action. Begin accepting your gifts now. You can have every wonderful thing life can bestow, by being every wonderful thing to others.
You see, reconciliation with others and the world begins within. If you don't get right with yourself, then nothing in this life will ever make you happy. Blame is very tricky in that it seems like a way out when it is really a form of imprisonment. Until you stop blaming and become positively self-critical you are not going to move forward. You think that if you blame, you will then be free of those problems, but blame cements you to your problems. You have to take responsibility. Empowerment is never about blame; it is about taking personal responsibility. Taking personal responsibility is not about being "responsible" — it is about seeing your truth and evolving. People who blame are always looking to "get out" of something, but like quicksand, the more they struggle the more they are captive. Blame anchors us into the past; a place we cannot change. Acceptance frees us to the future. Even when something is not your fault, toxic blame has no place in your life. Focus on your own empowerment and healing. If you set a clear standard for yourself; for how you wish to be treated — people will take note. Rather than communicating blame, communicate your standards for proper future treatment. We must do better must always translate into, "I must do better."
