The storm is out there, and every one of us must eventually face it. When the storm comes, pray that it will shake you to your roots and break you wide open. Being broken open by the storm is your only hope. When you are broken open, you have a chance to discover for the first time what is truly inside you. Some people never get to see what is inside them; what beauty, what strength, what truth and love. They were never broken open by the storm. So, don't run from your pain — run into your pain. Let life's storm shatter you.
Where do we look for the strength to survive in moments of such profound loss and pain? I have been so low before that all I could do is get through one breath and one heartbeat at a time. Sometimes all we have left is to try to make it breath by breath. Have you been there in that hazy space; disoriented — a hum-like ringing in the ears from an explosion of trauma or bad news? Your disbelief simply will not make it go away. In moments like this everything seems like it is in slow motion; hope is like a tiny speck at the end of a narrow dark tunnel. Sometimes we feel like we are beyond any conceivable positive thought, and we just want it all to end. Everyone eventually tries to rally — at least once. We try to willpower ourselves forward; to pick ourselves up, but sometimes we just fall hard all over again. Sometimes we cry a river of tears and sometimes our suffering is in profound silence. You feel like you will choke on the lump in your throat; your grief impossible to swallow. You try to put yourself back together, to compose yourself. Your moments of calm composure rattle and shake as the rivets in your mask burst into a falling-apart that blurs the lines between weeping and laughter. This is when you feel like you are losing your mind. Sometimes in the middle of a break-down you might involuntarily scream and then go silent; like an emotional gasp. But you can't hold your breath forever. You can't hold it in forever. The pain is going to have its way with you; it's going to work through you. There may be no comfort. There may be no answers. There may be no reason, logic or justice. Sometimes it will never be the way it was ever again. Sometimes it is a point of no return for who you were and what you had. Sometimes there is only pain. But, no matter how bad things get; no matter how painfully our hearts break and ache, it is still the sweet agony of life, and we must embrace it all. Every life is a harrowing story wrought with every emotion — good and bad — but these are the emotions that make life the bitter-sweet journey that we all treasure. It will feel impossible; like you are dying inside — this is your soul crying out for life. It may take everything you have; every ounce of will and strength. You will lose a part of yourself trying to save something essential and innocent. And when you have given everything, you will recover, and you will be set free, and you will discover there was even more in you than you ever knew.
No matter how evolved we think we are, when we are caught up in a terrible tragedy we don't just sit around wondering what lessons we can learn from it — we are just simply holding on for dear life, hoping we can survive. Tragedy arrives in a blur, often accompanied by hopelessness, feigned calm and a fog-like numbness that feels like a surreal dream. The last thing we may need when in moments of tremendous trial is empty reassurances that everything will be ok. Often, it most certainly will not be ok. What it will likely be though is different, and you will be different too. It's better to just accept that things aren't ever going to be the same again. As for all the lessons, sometimes we need a break from learning lessons. Sometimes we just need time and space alone; we can always learn later. In the crossroads of a painful crisis what we always need is a moment to breathe, pray and accept our fate with dignity. This is how we steady ourselves against the great trials of life; quietly, not always bravely, but deep down in solitude, where we find our strength to survive.
No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to live in fear. No one wants to lose everything. No one wants their heart ripped to shreds. No one want to be sick. And, no one wants to die. But these things happen in life. So the least we can do is be there for others, as we would like others to be there for us. Supporting others through their trials in life is a wonderful way to refocus on something positive amidst our own struggles. When we are feeling low we can focus on one simple thing each day to get us through the moment: one beautiful memory, one sunset; noticing one precious living thing in nature, and relishing in our magnificent connection to it, and all that is life. The pain only diminishes when it is engulfed by our gratitude and our mindful awareness of the rare gift and tragic shortness of life. The boundary of our abundance is only one of non-acknowledgement, and you rush past those false boundaries by saying yes to love. Remember. You don't experience life; you only experience your feelings. When you choose to feel differently, you choose to live differently. You can change your life one feeling at a time.
Disappointment is coming, for sure! People are going to hurt you in ways you would never have believed even possible. You are going to be let-down and deeply betrayed. And there is only one thing to do when you are tragically let down — let-go. No matter how wrong they were, holding on will not make it right, it will only eat you alive over time. You are worthy of not reacting negatively to negativity. Don't let them kill you twice. Letting go is the only way. Quit hanging on to the past; fantasizing, dreaming, wishing and replaying it. You can't change it. You just haven't realized it yet, but you have moved on. You are different now; not of the past, but of now — a different person. You don't need whatever the past had — it's gone. Your life is here today. Your greatest moments are ahead of you and are right where you are now, so seize them while you can, before it is too late. Quit the endless worrying about the future. The way you get through life is one day at a time; even one hour at a time or one moment at a time. Start by finding, creating or noticing one good moment. Even in the darkest of times, if you look, you will find one. Being more positive just takes practice. You can retrain your mind to see the best possibilities in everything. A good moment in a bad day counts. Begin with this moment, and make it count.
The truth can set you free, but when it comes, it's more like a wrecking-ball than a holy beam of illumination. Truth can be terrifying. If you're brave enough to follow truth it will shatter you and your illusions at the same time. If you are not taking proper care of yourself, you need to be broken, because you are probably set in your ways like concrete. Don't live a lie anymore. Come clean. Let it out. The truth can do years of work in seconds. Once you let the truth loose it is like setting a fire that you can't stop. Let the fires of truth burn away your false life and all of your excuses, fears, blaming, doubts and illusions of insignificance. Accept that through truth — tomorrow will most certainly be different! Accept that you can and will do what you must do to take good care of yourself. Accept that there are people who will like you for who you really are. Accept that you are not finished, and a new and better life is just beginning. All of this is possible through accepting the truth that you are worthy of good things, and you are a deserving and beautiful person.
If your situation seems impossible, at least look it straight in the eye, because having a painful truth is better than a pleasant lie. Pleasant lies just perpetuate your problems. People tend to think they want success, progress, happiness, and peace more than anything, but really deep down, people want the truth. People have given up everything and have even died for the truth. But the truth only comes if you are willing to face some very unpleasant things about yourself. You have to dig deep inside of yourself and have a look at all of your old resentments, judgments, insecurities and fears. All of these ugly, hidden things are how we lie to ourselves. We lie about how *tomorrow will be no different*, and how *we can't*, and how *they don't like us*, how *we aren't worthy* and how *we're finished* and *it's impossible*. And then there is the worst lie of all — that *we are unlovable*. This is how a person who is paralyzed by their own lies thinks.
There is an ebb and flow to life. People and situations wash upon the shores of our lives. The mighty pressures of the water gently sculpt and shape us. The tides of change have great purpose in our lives. When it is time, the waters recede and sometimes carry things away; even things we love. The tides, while powerful, can move in our lives so gently, if we allow. If you resist the awesome tidal forces of life, you are going to hurt yourself. There are some things, people and experiences you cannot have or change. When the waters of life move upon you; do not struggle — give in and let go. Be still and let the waters flow around you. Let the ancient precession of tides cut a beautiful shoreline in your heart.
Do not wallow in your mistakes. Do not grovel and prostrate yourself in hopes of forgiveness. We all make mistakes. Apologize and move forward. Do not replay the event in your head. Do not continue to beat yourself up. Do not profusely explain, defend yourself, make excuses or blame. After you apologize, do no more explaining; never explain more than once — ever. When you keep explaining and rehashing you just keep your mistake alive. Learn your lesson and adjust your behavior and move forward. Let people see you overcoming your mistakes with integrity. Most mistakes that seem huge in the heat of the moment are quickly forgotten. We often even further bond with others through surviving our mistakes together. Big mistakes are an outstanding opportunity to showcase your ability to recover and have grace under pressure. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the opportunity. This is how you turn it all around.
In painful moments of dire discouragement, please know that your soul has a resiliency and a capacity to endure suffering that is beyond anything you can imagine. Even the softest and sweetest heart was made by design for extreme battle. Make no mistake about it, no matter how kind, meek, humble and soft your giving heart is — you are a warrior! Your strength is beyond your own imagination. The further you are challenged and threatened, the more your warrior heart will emerge. When you are backed into a corner, or someone you love is suffering, or you are hanging by your fingernails over the edge of ruin with the cold, hungry abyss peering into your soul — the super-human occurs. Billions of years of dormant survival intelligence will erupt from every pore. You don't have to be strong, because the strength is in you; it's in your DNA, in your soul and your essence. You would not believe what skill, power and ability your total intelligence possesses until you are in desperate need. So, do not despair. Have faith. It is going to work out, and you will be delivered. You have the heart of a warrior, and you were designed to survive!
